That’s my new name for myself after a weekend adventure into the craziness that is Korean nightclubs with Linda. (And don’t forget that time in Wonju.)
We showed up, prepared with the following information. In Korean nightclubs the wait staff is expected to help men pick up women. The all-male staff will sometimes take a woman by the hand and drag here to a man’s table–at his request. It is expected that the women will say “no,” but it’s also understood the women are playing they “don’t really mean it.” I found the scenario disturbing yet intriguing.
Linda is ethnically Asian, but Canadian. She assured that with my obviously foreign appearance we would be left alone. This was strictly an observation mission. Eye candy awaited! This was going to be great.
We showed up by taxi in front of a love hotel. A member of the club staff immediately greeted us with an umbrella over our heads and ushered us inside. (Yeah, it was raining again.) The interior was dimly lit, smoky and very 1950’s Vegas-esque. Seriously, Blue Eyes would’ve felt right at home. We walked through the soft golden light from the small chandeliers above each table to finally sit at a small red booth. A quick glance at the menu told me we were way outside my comfortable price zone.
Linda quickly ordered the cheapest bottle of whiskey and a pitcher of beer. For a staggering $120 USD this came with a fruit tray and juices. (The juices were presumably to be used as mixers, but really would you mix strawberry milk with whiskey? Me either. It made for a decent chaser though.) The second the waiter ran off to get our drinks. The entire club seemed to stand up and head to the dance floor. Clearly I had missed the message.
I looked at Linda. “It’s like that. Everyone just dances for 15 minutes or so then they take a break. Then they dance again.” She was completely right. After 15 minutes of lining up, (Yes, you may think of Boot Scootin’ Boogie.) and doing Rihanna, Beyonce knock off dance moves with an obvious lack of grace I learned this is called sexy dance. It seems that when a KPop group comes out with a new song the dance moves are copied by the masses and everyone knows sexy dance.
I’d like to say I’m joking, but yes, everyone lines up and dances. During the dancing some men would walk up to women, strike up a conversation then they would move off the dance floor together. I was surprised to see there was no ass grabbing or unwelcome grinding going on. KMen are totally comfortable walking up to a woman first.
A whiskey beer bomb later, a man decided to come sit next to me. I suppose being foreign the staff either refused to drag me to his table or he didn’t ask. He brought some beer with him then tried to talk to me. I gathered that he thought I was a Russian prostitute before Linda saved me by insisting we dance alone. Once we were on the dance floor, I busted out my best Mexican inspired booty shakin’ moves. Which is to say, I looked way too sexy by Korena standards and completely spastic by American ones.
Soon one guy was trying to talk to me on one side, while another was trying to get Linda to bother me for him. We ended up doing the lady dancing with lady please back off elbows. Because these guys were OLD! Like cheating on their wives old. At the break, we went back to our table and Beer Guy returned. Clearly he didn’t get the hint.
The DJ started doing her own sexy dance and stripped down to a bra and fishnets before welcoming the crowd back to the stage. This time some man decided to grab my hand. I pulled away, then told Linda I was calling in reinforcements.
So I made a necessary 2 a.m. drunk dial. Ray was sweet enough to come and save us from the old guys.
After laughing at us for about 30 minutes for walking into something so strange, Ray explained that the night club is known in Chungju as being the place for the old guys looking for one night stands to hang out.
Thankfully we were able to enjoy ourselves as all the unwanted attention drifted away like magic. Ray is apparently the world’s most intimidating man. We finished our booze and headed to dangerous for a round of sobering up darts.
I think that’s my last time in a Korean night club. My suggestion for anyone curious enough to go is to take along a Korean friend preferably of the male persuasion the first time you go. I should also point out that there are several different night clubs and not all clubs are these kinds of hook up dance clubs.
Linda, here’s the blog post you promised I’d get out of our adventure. Thanks for the craziness, whiskey and beer.